Call the Doctor
by CHL- crackhead
Summary: Will Ginny get Colin's cooties? Will Draco and Hermione ever act on their unpronounced feelings? Will different views on life tear the group apart? Warning: very OOC writen by Beatrice. Ignore the poltical stuff at the beginning!
1. Chapter 1

"And that's how the greedy capitalist pigs of Great Britain are screwing with the common working man and why the latter is perpetually in debt to the former."

"Oh shut up, Harry, it's too early for you Marxist propaganda. And anyway, even if a Communism was set up, we both know that an anarchy is the only way to end the system's inherent problems."

Ron rolled his eyes, "Oh shut up the both of you. Harry--cruel dictators almost always head Communisms, repressing the common man often times more than the capitalist system that Marx so hated. Hermione--people would take advantage of anarchy to cause destruction and death, unless the people of the aarchy were all knid-hearted and infinitely tolerant. If not, then the area would be taken over by warlords and we'd get zapped back to the feudal age," he said.

Just the, Draco Malfoy happened to be strolling by.

"It's the Lenin and Trotsky Comedy Team," Draco said, in a mock entrepeneureal voice, "Lenin tells the jokes, Trotsky throws the pies, and Stalin is the drunken, possibly dangerous talent at the piano."

"Ugh...Malfoy," the three friends muttered together, annoyed at Draco's evaluation at their political discussion.

They promptly returned to their breakfast.

"Say, has anyone seen Ginny lately?" asked Ron, who was fiercely protective of his sister.

"I think she's eating further down the Gryffindor table today with Jenniferette Waxil and Sarah Creazil," replied Hermione.

Ron looked down the table.

She certainly has been hanging out with them a lot lately..." he said, a hint of confusion in his voice.

"Yeah, don't they hang out with that Colin Creevey kid?" questioned Hermione.

"Ugh, Colin Creevey," Harry said disgustedly, "That kid was so creepy when he first got here, idolizing me and all that rot. Good thing he's changed quite a bit in his years."

"Good thing indeed, " Hermione replied mockingly, "If Creevey hadn't stopped worshipping you, you might still be going through your old celebrity diva days."

"Harry is not, not ever was, a diva!" snapped Ron, "Now, shut up about that, my client Mr. Potter does not like to speak of those times."

"Ron!"

"Sorry, Harry."

"Well," said Hermione, "I just hope Ginny doesn't sart to associate with Colin Creevey--or, as I like to call him, Colonel Creepy."

Written by my good friend Beatrice.

Much Love...


	2. Chapter 2

This is chapter 2 of Beatrice's Story. For details considering Sugar, We're Going Down, Look at my profile.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Ginny asked as she strolled toward Ron, Harry, and Hermione. "Haven't been having any impassioned, yet slightly pointless political arguments lately, have we?"

The three looked at each other sheepishly.

"You guys!" Ginny said as she rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh, "Why can't you guys just agree to disagree?"

"We would, but we--," started Harry, but he was soon squelched by Ginny.

"Whatever, I shouldn't have brought it up," she said, "So, how have you guys been lately?"

"Oh, good. Just the usual," replied Ron, "We manage. How're Jenniferette and Sarah?"

"They're just fine. Colin's good, too."

"Colonel Creepy!...I mean...Colin Creevey?" said Hermione, embarrassedly.

"Yeah, Colin Creevey," replied Ginny, "He's grown up a lot since he followed Harry around with a camera asking for autographs."

"As I mentioned before, my client would rather not speak of those days," Ron said, authoratively.

"Ron!"

"Sorry, Harry."

Ginny gave the two a quizzical look.

"Er--yeah, um...back to business," said Ron, trying to recover from the embarrassing incident, "What was it you were saying about Harry's old buddy?"

Harry gave Ron an indignant look as Ginny continued on with what she was going to say.

"Colin Creevey--what can I say?" she said, "He's grown a lot. He's smart, creative, and sexy as all hell."

Hermione silently gagged, almost choking on her own vomit.

"Plus, I hear he has some killer moves on the dance floor," Ginny continued, unperturbed.

"Anything else you can say to ruin my day?" a despairing Ron asked.

"Uhh...oh yeah! Jenniferette said that Lavender Brown heard that he totally has the hots for me. And Padma Patil heard that he's going to ask me out in my Charms class right before lunch," then, after a short silence, Ginny added, "And Padma also said that Cho Chang is jealous. Even though, since the author chooses to keep the year at which we are attending Hogwarts up to the imagination, Cho Chang could have quite conceivably already graduated Hogwarts."

Ginny strolled off fancifully, a smile on her face and a skip in her step, leaving her brother and his two friends muttering expletives under their breath.

So How do you like it R&R


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Colin Creevey unfolded the note he had written, looking around the room nervously. He had written the note instead of taking the notes about some stupid charm Mr. Flitwick was droning in a robotic voice about. (Colin had not taken the time to notice the name of the charm.)

Biting his lip, Colin precisely folded the piece of parchment on which the note was written, being especially careful lest the note split into sixteen little pieces, one for each section of the folded parchment, so many times had the note been folded and refolded again and again.

Colin closed his eyes, sighed deep, and passed the note over.

Over, over, upward, over, upward,upward, and over the note passed to its intended destination: Ginny Weasley. On its way, the note attracted attention of two giggling Ravenclaws, a Hufflepuff obviously enamored with the idea of a romantic prospect, a leering Slytherin, and Jenniferette Waxil, who gave Colin a sympathetic smile as she passed the note to Ginny.

Ginny received the note and opened it very carefully, being careful not to call attention to herself, especially attention from Professor Flitwick, who was teaching a mere five feet away.

The littlest Weasley smiled when she recognized Colin Creevey's handwriting. Slowly, stealthily, Ginny picked up her quill and began to write the reply to the note which reads as follows:

"_Ginny--_

_I have had my eye on you ever since you started hanging around my dear friends Jenniferette and Sarah. You are the most vibrant, beautiful girl I have ever met. You are more fascinating than my collection of boogers from assorted muggle and magical celebrities and you smell better than Neville Longbottom's grandma (who, I understand, showers thrice daily and uses a variety of lotions and moisturizers to keep her skin less wrinkly and smelling sweet with a healthy glow)._

_Will you go out with me?_

_With _like_-like,_

_Colin Creevey_

_P.S. Neville's grandma also probably smells good because she fills her house with pot popery._

_P.P.S. But still you probably smell better._

Professor Flitwick had just finished the lecture on the charm and the class had begun to practice the charm. Because of this, Ginny had not time to pass the reply to Colin's not back to him, so instead she daydreamed about Colin while stumbling through the (relatively easy) charm while waiting for class to end.

Finally, after what seemed like eons, class ended. Ginny caught Colin at the door.

"Don't even bother reading my note," she said, as she handed her reply to him, "I said yes."

No Ginny don't fall for it….

Anyways R&R


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4-

Harry, Ron, and Hermione rushed out of the Transfiguration class they shared together to the Great Hall. It was lunch.

The three sat down at the Gryffindor table and waited anxiously for their food to appear.

Lunch was a usually magnificent meal at Hogwarts, as far as lunches go. Whereas most lunches consist of microwavable or boring sandwiches, Hogwarts students enjoyed chicken sandwiches, BLT's, and other fancy (err) lunch items.

But today was different.

Underneath the silver food covers of the luncheon meal, instead of a fresh chicken sub or mouth-watering BLT, lurked, all strewn together sloppily, the grossest peanut butter and jelly sandwiches anyone could ever imagine. The jelly had soaked through the bread, the peanut butter had somehow gotten to the outside of the sandwich, and crusts hung half-way on, half-way off.

"Ew," said Harry, looking at a fly that was stuck to his glob of sandwich.

"This can't be a good omen about Ginny," said Ron, gagging of the sopping bread.

"Nuh-uh," replied Hermione, trying to unstick peanut butter from the roof of her mouth.

"Whassamatta Granger?" sneered Draco Malfoy, emerging out of nowhere, "Is the Mudblood chocking on her peanut butter?"

Hermione shot Malfoy a venomous look.

"We Slytherins are enjoying a nice grilled cheese and tomato soup lunch," continued Draco, "While it is not the usual fancy lunch we are used to, it is far better than that PB&J shit that seems to be asphyxiating you. And, while it would be an insult to my honor, I would be almost glad to offer my tomato soup and grilled cheese to you. To put you out of your misery."

"Fuck off, Malfoy;" growled Hermione, "Although though I love grilled cheese and tomato soup, even the most beastly PB&J sandwich is better than a grilled cheese and tomato soup meal gotten from you."

"Suit yourself," Draco answered, then after a short pause, he added, "...Mudblood."

"What the fuck was that?" asked a puzzled Harry.

"Dunno," answered Hermione, "The sandwich was probably laced with arsenic."

"We've got no time to worry about who poisoned whose sandwich!" exclaimed Ron, "Here comes Ginny with good-for-nothing Colin!"

"Hey guys!" shouted Ginny, as she ran to the Gryffindor table, her left hand in Colin's right, "Colin asked me out and I said yes!"

When her joyous exclamation was met with cruel, stony silence, a defeated Ginny gave up and strolled over with Colin to the other side of the Gryffindor table.

"Mmm...PB&J, my favorite!" she smiled, as her left hand broke out in hives.

R&R

Much love


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